Faith in Times of Stress

I tend to write and reflect a lot, it’s a beautiful and helpful habit that has stayed with me since my time as a Lasallian missionary where silence and reflection were a regular part of our schedule and an easy way to meet and greet God, intimately.

Whoever reads this should know that I am by no means a great writer, and English is my second language, and also I generally just write for myself - to order my thoughts, pray, or just to put things in perspective. I do it anywhere and in anything I can. Whatever the purpose or the format, I just keep it to myself and seldom share or publish anything.

The reason I share all this context is that yesterday I sent myself an email with a few sentences about how faith and spirituality have kept me with a heart full, despite the fact that I am facing unprecedented challenges at work and in life. I am stressed out of my mind. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. BUT—I am so tight with God right now that I almost enjoy the process of being in the tunnel.

God and I have a very unique relationship. This has been very evident for me since I was probably 6 or 7 years old. While at school, I always felt I was God’s favorite and even felt a bit bad for my young friends as I knew I was over-favored.

To the reader, I do not want to give you the impression that I am a Saint. Big sinner right here. My relationship with God has not been always consistent. There have been periods in my life where I prioritized work, social life, sports, laziness, or other things and I have been just not great at it… But I always come back to Him and we manage to get things in order.

I have been working on my spirituality and my consistency with God for a few months now. It was part of my resolutions for this year and the prior year, and I doubled down during Lent, committing to daily prayer and frequent confession, and I feel so fulfilled. I went for confession yesterday, and I told the priest that I don’t know if this was a sin, but that I was embarrassed to share that I am close to God at a time in my life when I am facing a lot of stress/anxiety. I shared that I am rather happy that I have this going on for me, but I just didn’t know if subconsciously I am approaching God because I need him. The priest response moved me. He shared that God has many ways to call for his children and sometimes life/work difficulties can be one of them. He also suggested embracing it and leverage God as he is the only one that really knows how to soothe our hearts and minds.

I wanted to share all of this because in a weird way — even though I am struggling — knowing that God is with me has managed to keep me content and with my heart full. I know that this too shall pass and that I will come out of this tunnel stronger and better, and hopefully even closer to God. I felt like sharing/publishing this as I know we all have unique challenges and different stressors but I really hope you could face stress like I am facing it right now. Stress is stress and sure I rather have the alternative, but this time it feels like a gift from Him, and I welcome it.

Happy Lent.

Adan